Closet Stories

It can be argued that a woman’s temple is her closet.  Within are the secrets of her daily life:  her favorite jeans folded on top of the seven pairs never worn because they don’t fit as nicely, the floral chiffon “ballet” skirt that was a mistake but she knows she’ll wear any day now, the dress with the tags she bought for a date in 2004 that never happened…it’s all there.  In the closet.  I’m relating this for a friend.

I saved a 1980’s Glamour Magazine editorial by journalist Mary Alice Kellogg where she bemoaned her lost suitcase after a trip to Paris which was filled with her favorite clothing – a green mohair sweater even her boyfriend said he missed, perfectly-fitted lingerie that took years to find, and other things that she had felt were “friends”.

I cleaned out my closet the other day and found many of my own “friends”.  So many items no longer fit my work-from-home life and I was sad to pack them off to the consignment shop but it has been liberating to have fewer clothes, having so rarely had the time to purge through the years.  A few of those clothes saw me through tough work times and others had memories that made it easy to put them in the donate pile.  I’m thinking of a favorite charcoal wool dress that I liked to wear with a Russian-flavored burgundy floral challis scarf a shopkeeper handed over to me one day when I visited her store wearing the dress.  The outfit made me feel strong and competent and was a real closet workhorse.  Also onto the donate pile went its warm-weather twin – a Wedgwood blue two piece cotton dress, I  never tired of accessorizing with colorful summer jewelry.

Some things in my wardrobe however, had failed me and it wasn’t hard to let them go.  Some clothes just seem to have negative energy and although I loved them once, I bid them adieu easily.  I had especially become un-fond of a rose charmeuse blouse that no matter how many chances it had, always ended up sliding up under the cardigan I wore over it.  And like some other pieces, the blouse had a memory;  a negative one of being called into the HR office over an untrue and petty accusation a co-worker made.  That day I had pinned a silk flower on my shoulder and remember as I sat there in front of my boss, how aware I was of that flower and how silly it had suddenly made me feel.  The blouse had an imprint I couldn’t forget.  Ditto the silk flower…

Still, the closet can also contain some lovely secrets like the ancient jean jacket that still bears the brooch on its collar that belonged to a dear man’s deceased mother, and a cozy hooded cotton knit sweater that serves as a robe over summer nightgowns and a throw-on for impromptu night walks on the beach when one of our damp fogs roll in.  Just in case, that sweater now resides in my car since I have more time for beach walks these days.

But I think what really touched me during my closet re-do were the shoes, those very personal structures that do so much more than protect the feet.  My shoes just seemed so…earnest –  the black suede and patent leather heeled wingtips, the dark brown snakeskin flats with demure bows, and my wonderful leopard pumps with the hot pink ribbon trim – a great birthday gift from my sister years ago.  As I held each pair, I realized that my shoes were chosen, worn, and loved for the dreams I had about the way I saw myself at work. They were ever-hopeful and what I hoped was that they would say things about me to others that I couldn’t say and they couldn’t see.

Was I successful?  Probably not but as I stored each pair in their marked boxes, I felt a tenderness for the woman whose feet they shod…all those days and all those years at work.  Among the things that filled my closet, I realized my shoes had been my true closet friends – those beloved pieces of my wardrobe that gave confidence and got my outside closer to the way I felt inside.  Except for the leopard pumps, all were donated with the other work clothes and my new hope is that they work for another working woman – earnest and hopeful, struggling occasionally but with both feet in pretty shoes and planted forward.

I expect that new things will fill my closet soon.  Some chic sneakers and one or two casual summer dresses.  I’ld like a tunic too – a vibrant one to wear with white jeans.  I’m writing a new closet story…