On the First Day of a Feminine Christmas

I thought the first posting of Christmas should begin with a kiss!  This romantic pair are certainly smitten with each other.

Not being an overly demonstrative person, I’m not a natural hugger.  I don’t like hugging strangers, acquaintances, or people I’ve just met.  And I never liked when anybody looked at my young child and asked, “Can I have a hug?”  The answer from me was always “No but thanks just the same”.  I’ve wondered about my distaste for hugs.  When I see people hugging in real life or in a movie, I can’t help but think that hugs don’t really do much.  The leaning in, a pat or two on the back and then the quick pulling away.  It takes just a second or two but what does it really do?  Today we see men hugging everyone, even in period films and I just don’t believe Poldark did a lot of hugging with his fellow soldiers.  Do you?

But recently I realized that the hugging I am loathe to do – the pat-on- the-back kind – and the hugging I actually do enjoy are two very different things.  If I am going to hug someone and if I want them to hug me, I’m talking about an embrace.  And that’s a hug that lasts more than a few seconds.  It’s the kind of touch where you can feel a heartbeat, inhale a neck that’s not yours, or bury your face in a tangle of good-smelling hair.  I’m thinking about the hugs I give my daughter and she gives me back, the hugs where I rest my head on my beau’s shoulder and feel his strength when mine is gone.  His hugs are meaningful and tactile and last longer than a moment.  People have told me, “He gives a good hug” or “He’s just a big teddy bear”.  Yes.  I know what you mean.  Hugs like that are a gentle respite in a rude world.   Energy is exchanged and sensory footprints are made.  And you don’t have to love the person you’re hugging – you just have to be fond of them. I  guess I don’t like paltry little squeezes and pats from near-strangers or acquaintances because they seem so trite and ineffectual.  Call me cold or a curmudgeon but when I hug someone, well…I mean it.

Christmas is the time for affection and hugs between family and dear friends.  I expect I will give and receive a lot of my kind of embraces.  But with others – I will offer my smile and a warm hand.  And then we shall see, we shall see…

So what about the Christmas kiss?  Ah yes… that’s for another post.