A Lovely Inconsequence Rx
I’ve read, and friends have told me that women are buying themselves flowers this week. I saw it today at the supermarket too. Every other basket had flowers in it including the basket of an 80+ fellow female shopper. And purple tulips reached out to me as if their leaves had tentacles. The color was so happy that I just had to bring them home. One can easily see that we are trying to soothe ourselves, reassure ourselves, and feel a little normal during an uncertain and scary time.
Many self-help gurus say that if we want to re-discover our true passions, we need to remember ourselves at ten years old. The theory is that age ten is when our spirits are still free and unencumbered by prejudices and opinions of others. Age ten is when we are still pure in youthful selfishness and right decision and we still have time to experiment and explore things that excite and spark joy.
At ten years old, I was in the fifth grade and assigned to a dreadful teacher. Fortunately, she left to have a baby in October but then a series of unfortunate substitutes followed, each worse than the one before. But in January, a breath of fresh air breezed in and turned our sullen classroom into a garden.
Mrs. Tanner was the mother of a student in the other fifth grade class and having her youngest child in first grade, she volunteered to teach us until a good permanent replacement could be found. Suddenly, our classroom was filled with flowers and plants. We had tender shoots sprouting up on every inch of the large window sills on the side of the classroom, we made moist terrariums and saw how plants can grow under glass. Soon, a green philodendron began to creep its way across the alphabet frieze at the top of the chalkboard. We placed bets in a decorated box on how long it would take for its leafy tendrils to reach the wall clock on the other side of the room.
But Mrs.Tanner fostered other things in us besides horticulture. We learned how to make an exploding paper mache “volcano” with vinegar and baking soda. She wheeled a colored TV into the classroom so we could watch some of the orbital rocket launches that year. We had lessons about the moon and homework assignments observing its phases from our backyards and recording our findings in journals we made by hand. And most importantly, Mrs. Tanner taught us to love books…
Each week we had to present a book report to the class but all books had to be teacher-approved first. Only once did she veto my selection – a much-too-grown-up story about a teenager who married in high school. “Why don’t you read about a teenager who lived during the Civil War?”, she suggested. And then she took me on a walk to the school library where I found a story about Anne Sullivan, Helen Keller’s famous teacher, and a touching story about a girl sent to live with her aunt during wartime. I devoured the books and this was the origin of my life-long love of history and reading.
But what I remember most about Mrs.Tanner was the book she read to us. About a half hour before the dismissal bell, she would remove a small brown book the side drawer in her old wooden desk. It was a true tale about a boy who got lost in mountainous woods after having been separated from his family on a camping trip. The spirited yet soft way she read, the pauses to ask us pointed questions about what we thought would happen next, enraptured us so much that we felt we knew this lost boy personally and collectively, we rooted for him on the edge of our desk chairs every afternoon. How disappointed we were when that bell released us back down to earth.
I’ve been thinking about the gifts Mrs. Tanner gave us that year. She not only rescued us from three tortuous teachers, but she loved us into our ten year old existence. We learned how to identify spring wildflowers and she let us tramp to a nearby bog where unbidden, we filled our arms with pussywillows, her favorite spring plant. Indeed, I still can’t see a branch of them without thinking of her. Tender and fresh, they arrive with a promise of warmer days to come, just like our teacher when she arrived in our classroom like a refreshing zephyr to heal and redirect a bunch of fifth graders.
There’s a prescription in this post, my friends. What did you love at ten? What can you bring to these frightening weeks ahead as we hunker down at home and fret and worry about our loved ones? I think flowers and books are in order, don’t you? Maybe a book of something wonderful that you can order online – something you’ve always wanted to know more about – constellations, how to make coffee desserts, a sumptuous study of romantic Scottish ruins, or a book like my new one about Monet’s fabled and beloved Giverny. Something new-to-you that you can get lost in over the next few weeks. Read every bit of text and savor each picture and illustration, live with your book and enjoy it. And grow something. Start some seeds, buy a cheery green ivy and watch how it leans towards the late afternoon sun. Perhaps there are pussywillows nearby too, just waiting to dress up that grocery store bouquet.
~~~~~~~~~
A friend told me she spent some happy hours cleaning out her costume jewelry drawers the other day while she waited for her husband to fly home from a business trip.. My sister, who loved to draw at age ten, is soothing herself by coloring in coloring books and trying her hand at sketching with colored pencils. Other friends are baking bread and cookies. This not the time to give up routines for skin care and exercising can be done at home. Nourishing foods and regular mealtimes are helpful too. What is reassuring you these days?
20 Comments
Margaret Powling
What a marvellous teacher your Mrs Tanner was! At ten I was much the same as I am now only younger, of course. I suppose, being an only child and growing up in my parents’ newsagent’s shop where I could not only speak to customers or all kinds, but also read all the magazines, newspapers and books (and indeed I had my own copies of the monthly glossies, Ideal Home and Homes & Gardens as well as my weekly comics, Girl and School Friend) I was what you might call a rather precocious child: I loved fashion and was early into makeup and ‘heels’. But not in a tarty way at all, I just loved the soignee look of the models of the day … and this was pre-Twiggy and Jean Shrimpton (or “the Shrimp” as she was known). I loved reading (of course!) but most of all, drawing and painting and now, 65 yeas later, I rather wish I kept up with that hobby. So, aged 10, I really was much like I am today, still writing to my many friends (only emailing them now rather than pen and ink), still reading, still loving the glossy style magazines and everything connected with home.
Margaret P
Michele
I do appreciate your lovely thoughts. Thank you for sharing them with us. I think the painting you chose has just the right mood for your post. Could you give the name of the painting and artist, please? I have very little knowledge of art, but I know what I like. I may look into it, now that I have a little free time.
A Lovely Inconsequence
Hi Michele, When I first found this painting, I did an extensive search using all the sources I had at the time. The only painter I came upon that I thought it COULD be was Vladimir Tokarev, a Russian master that was never well-known. I’m not sure it’s his work but it comes close. It is a stunning image that captures the cold sunny days of early spring, doesn’t it? Thank you for your readership!
Elizabeth
My teacher from hell, was the 3rd grade. She too was pregnant which did nothing positive for her. But she left and the last 2 months of school we had the funnest Grandma teacher…she did a lot of fun things with us too. Like passing around a jar with cream in it, having us shake it a bit and pass on to the next kid until butter was made. Then we all got to have some fresh butter on a graham cracker. Mostly I remember her kindness. Somehow she must have known we were all pretty shell shocked when she got to us!! Glad your year had a good ending too!! Do you too remember the name of the wicked teacher, but not the good one? I find I cannot remember the name of that sweet teacher and cannot forget the name of the other. Strange how our minds work. I am doing a lot of odds and ends here…and have had a fairly significant improvement on one recipe I have been working on…and plan to do more recipes. Also, working some on the book of memories I am writing for my offspring about my mom and her parents and kin…all awesome folks. I hope my grandkids will get to “know” them a bit in that book one day.
A Lovely Inconsequence
Ugh! Those teachers who were horrible live on in our minds. If only they realized that at the time!
Heather
At Ten I loved being creative. I spent part of today making a mobile for a certain little boy’s nursery! Xoxo
Ann Yawornitsky
What a beautiful post ! At 10 I loved to read and to “play house”. I would set up my table and chairs and play dishes under the grapevine in our yard and make pretend food to serve. So now….reading lots of books, and trying new recipes, and “playing house” for real. Enjoying my nest – yes, with a bunch of flowers I picked up at the store. Thank you for your post….stay safe and healthy!
A Lovely Inconsequence
Thank you so much Ann! Yes, above all, stay well!
LA CONTESSA
AT TEN I was into animals……..I was always building a BARN or trying to GET MORE ANIMALS!
I spent hours making things!
WE had a FLOWERING CHERRY TREE IN the garden where I would be at work!THAT MAGNIFICENT TREE took my breath away every year!I spent long minutes looking at the BLOOMS and the BEES!
STAY WELL……..and READ!
WOULD LOVE TO SEE A COMMENT FROM YOU OVER ON MY BLOGGY!
Only if YOU have time!
XX
D. A. Squires
I always feel as though I am slipping into a beautiful garden or cozy window seat when your blog post arrives. I just know there will be peacefulness and beauty and loveliness… and nostalgia for something of the past. Your fifth grade experience is one I think everyone experiences to some degree… the impact of teachers on our lives, both good and bad, can last a lifetime. (I had a traumatic experience in college with one professor that gave me nightmares for many years, the gut-wrenching fear of not graduating). If you’ve read The Time Seekers, what you have described is nearly identical to the events in Classroom # 6 (sixth grade )!! Admittedly, Miss Olivia White has magical powers, which only the power of the pen can bestow, but she represents all the Mrs. Tanner’s in classrooms everywhere, who bring real magic into the lives of children everyday.
Your writing and reflections are always soothing to the soul, especially in these troubled times. I would add that reading children’s literature is good for grown-ups — simple truths that stand the test of aging– and there is nothing more therapeutic than going on an adventure with children, nor anything more fun.
Adore the painting which leads the way : )
Debbie
A Lovely Inconsequence
Thank you so much Debbie! Always wonderful to hear from you here.
Amy
Yesterday my husband arrived home from an appointment bearing a huge bouquet – he said he wanted to provide me with some extra beauty these days. Tried to attach a picture but couldn’t!
A Lovely Inconsequence
Amy, in my opinion, your husband is one of the best ever!
Donna Nance
This post is just what I needed today! Donna, you are such a wonderful writer, your pieces are full of joy. I always come away from reading one of your posts with renewed hope and energy. The unexpected surprise (after some duds!) of a fabulous teacher is a lovely memory. I can just imagine how the children responded to her teaching.
One of my favorite memories from childhood is sitting inside a huge lilac bush, reading. The fragrance is still a favorite. Pussy willows are another happy plant. I took a detour to do some searching and found a lovely pink pussy willow plant, a pink dogwood and an old-fashioned lilac. These would all look lovely in our yard and would certainly please my ten year old self. We are staying away from folks and actually enjoy doing projects around home and are preparing to do some serious gardening when the weather breaks. I am praying that this self-imposed social distancing will bring families closer together. There are so many good memories to be made in of these uncertain times.
A Lovely Inconsequence
God bless you Donna! Thank you so much as always.
Anneli
Thank you, Donna.
This is such a beautifully written post , and it evoked so many happy memories .
To have had such a wonderful teacher is such a blessing at any time, but when her presence in your life came after having had such a contrasting experience with her predecessors must have had even more of an impact on the children she taught.
How lovely of you to share these memories with us all, and get us reminiscing about our ten year old selves.
That’s over sixty years ago for me !
I loved wildflowers too, reading and writing stories, drawing, painting, singing , playing the piano , baking with my Mother, listening to the radio , which she used to have on all the time , and, even at ten, I still loved my dolls house and dolls , and playing with my smaller sister and brother , and our baby sister.
During our working lives, the thought of being able to relax at home , and having the time to do the non – work things that we loved was such a treat.
Although we would not have chosen these circumstances , let’s try to make the very most of the time we have at home , by consciously choosing to do the things which enrich our souls ……………….and remember all our childhood passions 🙂
Sending love
Anneli
A Lovely Inconsequence
Anneli, I love all that you’ve written here – it read like a blessing! Thank you so much.
Karen
What a wonderful, wonderful post! I love that people are buying flowers for themselves. My 10-year-old self loved to read, too! And draw and act in little plays that I wrote and make a magazine and sit under the forsythia bush and read comic books! She was not particularly fond of cooking, as I recall, but she did love to read. And color! And I loved to sing, loved it so much, that my mother used to have to forbid me to sing at the dinner time at dining room table! I am singing more these days, and the songs I am singing are the beautiful hymns that I sang when I was 10 years old in the Methodist Church. Just today, I had a lesson from my Organ teacher and I asked him to help me learn to play “be still, my soul”–“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side. To guard the future as He has the past. “
Christine McCann
Another convicted reader then and now! Just Friday I was in an antique store and found an anthology called A Book of Comfort: A Treasury of Pose and Poetry Offering Wisdom and Consolation for the Difficulties and Challenges of Life. The English author Elizabeth Goudge compiled it in 1964 from her favorite poems and excerpts from various essays and novels. I plan on dipping into it. I am also grateful that spring is coming and I can do more in my garden soon.
Thank you for your post, as always.
A Lovely Inconsequence
I would love to garden today Christine but it is pouring out. Thank you for your faithful readership and that book sounds lovely!