On the First Day of a Feminine Christmas
I thought the first posting of Christmas should begin with a kiss! This romantic pair are certainly smitten with each other.
Not being an overly demonstrative person, I’m not a natural hugger. I don’t like hugging strangers, acquaintances, or people I’ve just met. And I never liked when anybody looked at my young child and asked, “Can I have a hug?” The answer from me was always “No but thanks just the same”. I’ve wondered about my distaste for hugs. When I see people hugging in real life or in a movie, I can’t help but think that hugs don’t really do much. The leaning in, a pat or two on the back and then the quick pulling away. It takes just a second or two but what does it really do? Today we see men hugging everyone, even in period films and I just don’t believe Poldark did a lot of hugging with his fellow soldiers. Do you?
But recently I realized that the hugging I am loathe to do – the pat-on- the-back kind – and the hugging I actually do enjoy are two very different things. If I am going to hug someone and if I want them to hug me, I’m talking about an embrace. And that’s a hug that lasts more than a few seconds. It’s the kind of touch where you can feel a heartbeat, inhale a neck that’s not yours, or bury your face in a tangle of good-smelling hair. I’m thinking about the hugs I give my daughter and she gives me back, the hugs where I rest my head on my beau’s shoulder and feel his strength when mine is gone. His hugs are meaningful and tactile and last longer than a moment. People have told me, “He gives a good hug” or “He’s just a big teddy bear”. Yes. I know what you mean. Hugs like that are a gentle respite in a rude world. Energy is exchanged and sensory footprints are made. And you don’t have to love the person you’re hugging – you just have to be fond of them. I guess I don’t like paltry little squeezes and pats from near-strangers or acquaintances because they seem so trite and ineffectual. Call me cold or a curmudgeon but when I hug someone, well…I mean it.
Christmas is the time for affection and hugs between family and dear friends. I expect I will give and receive a lot of my kind of embraces. But with others – I will offer my smile and a warm hand. And then we shall see, we shall see…
So what about the Christmas kiss? Ah yes… that’s for another post.
3 Comments
Lynn
When I was undergoing chemo, I needed to avoid germs. Since then, I just tell people, “virtual hug,” and they understand. The same with shaking hands. I have arthritis, and I say so, and people still want to fist-bump, which requires hand-washing. I really think close contact (embraces, etc.) should be confined to people who know each other well and desire the contact!
A Lovely Inconsequence
And Lynn, I am sending you a virtual Merry Christmas hug! Thank you for your readership!
Donna
I agree with you on hugs from strangers (near-strangers).